The day time stopped

I woke up in the middle of the night again. I look down and find my hands shaking and slightly covered in ice. I try to calm down myself and extinguish this feeling again: I am missing someone I do not know, again. I long for a person who I cannot remember.

I got up and looked through my window. The city is calm, more than it has ever been. Contrary to my dream, no wanderer is attacking, and you are also not there. “You? Who?” I asked myself. I touched the crystal in front of me, freezing it almost instantly.

I went back to my bed and I covered myself with the sheets. My next surgery was in six hours, so I wanted to sleep a little bit more. When I closed my eyes, I saw you.

You were wearing a green qipao, and your hair still lingers on my mind to this day. You looked at me with your big and expressive eyes. “Recognise me,” I thought “please recognise me.” But you ******iled at me and continued walking. I followed you and, when only a few centimetres where separating us, I tried to reach for your hand, but I couldn’t grab it. Your image disappeared right in front of me like a frightening reminder that you did not exist.

Suddenly, I saw you sitting next to a river. You were playing with the water while singing a song. I could not understand why the scene felt so familiar and yet so new. I wondered if I could feel nostalgia for something I had not lived. I approached you with a disgruntled feeling, asking myself if I could reach you if I wanted you enough.

“Zayne,” you said once I put my hand on your shoulder.

“It’s you.”

“But do you even know who I am?” I tried to retire my hand from your body, but you held on to it. “It’s okay, you don’t have to remember me for I remember us for both of us.”

“What is this? Where am I?”

“None of that matters since we are finally reunited,” you said with a ******ile on your face. “You were hoping for me to recognise you even when you don’t know who I am, isn’t that a bit greedy?”

Your grip tightened. That was the cruelest thing your image could have done to me, because it was not real, I could not even feel your warmth. I let go of you and sat right by your side. When I looked into the water, I noticed your reflection was not there. You laughed it off and ******iled right after. 

“I died, Zayne. Two years ago, I left the world you live in,” you said.

“That’s not possible… I don’t even know you… Why do I care about you?”

“Of course you know me, you just don’t recognise me… that was my final wish to Astra before I died. If you are here, it means that you are experiencing a life threatening situation. Worry not, you are not going to die. Looks like your evol got out of control.” You played with the water, not even looking at me in my eyes, maybe you could not bear it.

“Is this place some kind of limbo?” You nodded. “What will happen to you once I wake up?”

“I will finally rest after telling you goodbye.”

“What do you mean by that? What did you ask Astra for?”

“You are as curious as ever… Once you’re about to die, Astra will grant you one last wish in exchange for something else. I wanted to say my last goodbye to you before you died. In exchange, Astra erased all your memories of me. I cannot leave the limbo until my wish has been completed, that’s why I’m still here.”

“And… how did you leave this world?” I asked. You ******iled innocently.

“A mission, you don’t need to know…” But your eyes told me how sad you really were. “I didn’t want to die, you know. It’s been hard here, but I’m glad you are here now.”

The river, the trees, everything around us started to crumble and I looked at you, worried. You ******iled at me and shook your head.

“It’s time for you to go back to your world. Thank you so much for coming to mine again.”

“No, wait…” My hand tried to reach yours, but your image started to vanish. “Could you tell me your name?”

Your lips moved, but I could not hear you. In a few seconds, I accepted my destiny: to live in a world without you. That was the day I met you, and the day I was forced to forget you.